People treated me very bad and nobody could imagine. If I had to avange, then I lost track about the list. It involved many people I don’t know.
So I prayer to Allah to give me strength and to pay me back in the end of time. But Allah answered with His Signs lately. Allah made me realized that I still surpress my anger deep inside of me. That I’m not fully healed. That my body keeps the score. I’m easily triggered by almost similar situation, I could feel my emotion is boiling.
People has been feasted on me for so long. To heal, I should feast too. I’ve been hungry for so long. Expecting I would forget, but in contrary I remember every detail.
But to avange and to feast on people, it’s something that is something impossible to me because I don’t know anything about people in my list. Even if I knew, my empathy would stop me, reminding me that there is no perfect humans including myself.
So I’m thinking to myself. I would be a tree that turns CO2 into carbs. Or in this case, turning pollution or residue into clean substances. I would feast on humanity’s weak character. To heal myself. Probably to heal surround me too.
What I notice is that we are, as humans, mass hallucinating together. We pick which reality we want to live. Some pick their unreal reality, some pick factual reality. But in which reality should we live?
It’s a wasted opportunity for humans to learn about the magnificent of creation in factual reality. Furthermore, they extract from factual reality but decided to live in unreal reality? What have gotten into their mind?
Therefore, I will feast on the bubble of ignorance. I will feast on the way they perceive things. The way the hinder progress in factual reality. The failure of presenting lawful goods among society. The way which knowledge is considered important. And beyond all of that, what makes them see that way. Up until now, I never know. Might be it is not my part to know. My part is to feast.
In a bigger sense, I hope I could feast on all of those weakness of humans’ character. I hope that there is no similar victim like me again. Just try to do the jobs within very tight constraint to achieve impossible requirements where are everybody were enemy. I’ve been there in smaller scale. Not everybody in my roles were in the same situation like mine. Could be some factors caused my situations.
I expect that in the future, people could be up their game. Such as not just make bad and cheap deals. But do better in their work. Because we’re not supposed to be in the business of deception. We, as part of society, should be in the business of delivering prosperity in factual reality. Because the nature is very rich, the technology is very prospective. Combined, they should support humanity in prosperous way.
Leave a Reply